It’s My Blog, and I’ll Cry If I Want To (Publicly If I Want To).

Hello Caring Citizen and Friend,

Today I recalled one of my visits with one of the greatest human beings that you have been blessed to share Earth’s oxygen with, and that I have had the honor of being serviced by, Dr. David Burkhead. I asked this angelic therapist during one of my sessions, “Do you think I am hystrionic (attention-seeking personality) like they tried to label me during various of my hearings (among other things like suffering from Munchausen’s Syndrome, a favorite used against mothers)? He chuckled and asked me “why?”  I answered, “Well, I started this blog during my trial and never published anything. But now that the trial is over I have started going public. Am I seeking attention? Is that a bad thing? To bring attention to something that was bad and shouldn’t have happened?”

See, ladies and gents, my reasons for doing whatever this blog is remains the same. I hurt — a lot.  Then, now, forever, I hurt for as far back too as I can remember when this whole thing started. I can forgive some of the irresponsible people, but I cannot forgive the evil monsters who just looked the other way and tried to cover up. But forgiving or not, it still hurts a lot. I hurt because of unfinished justice. I hurt because there was more pain after my trial when the new challenges of dealing with my child’s PTSD and sexual abuse trauma followed. I hurt because my family, friends and I became depressed during the holidays when we remembered spending them without my child. Now, I hurt because it seems that every single day someone else comes forward with a suffering caused by the courts and governmental abuse. Some have children that have died, while others have children that are “as if” dead because they are gone. And, we all want to tell you about it because at the very least we should be able to do so. It is not the lies that lamestream media reports or that politicians mask. It’s a truth like it really happens — like it happens to normal people like you and me. Behind the closed, “secret courts” as we refer to them.

In his typical, wonderfully whimsical, hyper-speechy-kinda-way, the very dear Dr. Burkhead said, “You are just keeping a record…you want there to be some record of what happened…it’s as if you DON’T WANT IT TO BE IN VAIN”….Now please note, that he didn’t yell it out or anything, and it probably wasn’t said exactly in those words, but it was very close to that and I capitalized for emphasis only because those words are key. I DON’T want it to be in vain. How can something so horrible just happen and government workers just move on happily in their overpaid jobs and deny my child any apologies or repair in spite of the obvious crimes they allowed and even caused in some instances. I lost so much and gained nothing from this. Or, did I? Must this pain all be in vain, or can I transform it into something useful? Perhaps, something even great.

This is what this blog was and is for me. Surely, there are various layers to it and different things come out of it, but what it is without a doubt, is a record of something that happened, and that I CHOOSE not to forget.  And, might i add, I choose that YOU shall not forget.

Plus, I didn’t start it. The bad guys did. They helped make me the person I am today. Should I thank them? They had plenty of opportunities to apologize for their errors and negligence, but they chose not to do it. If there was ever a chance this person I am today could have turned out differently, that opportunity is long gone. They haven’t apologized once, publicly or privately.

So, it’s my blog and I will say what I want to. And, if I am not being truthful, then that will come out too. I’ve already been threatened by DCF attorneys to watch out for what I put out there. But, the fact remains YOU GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT OUT. Afterall, I didn’t start the fight. They did. The evildoers create statutes to stop you from exposing the truth about their errors and negligences even after you beat them in court. Isn’t that clear evidence of a broken system?

Your lies for my truth? I will accept that offer any day. The truth is always going to come out, in some form or another. It might just need to be told in a more creative manner, like art reflecting life.

The best part to all of this is that no matter the challenges ahead with getting the truth out — way out — in the open, I am comforted in knowing that it is perfectly normal to want to do so — to tell the truth and always the truth, so help us God.

LMo.

2 Comments

  1. Lynn (Bella), it’s Johnny. It’s so awesome you started this blog. You always told me about it and here it is. I know I am probably the last person you thought would ever comment on this blog, but I’d like to share something with you… The Lord loves you. Attention seeking or not, it doesn’t matter. In 1John he says,

    “And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.”

    Then in Romans:

    “If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.”

    “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

    “Repay no one evil for evil.”

    “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

    Therefore:

    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
    For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

    “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

    • Hello, Johnny,

      Unfortunately nothing surprises me in this life these days. But it’s good when the surprises are about children finding their way home.

      On persecuting your enemy…Jesus was angry too, sometimes.

      In one of his visits to Jerusalem, Jesus found the holy place was so out of control, so loud, too loud for any praying. He took some cords and wove them into a small whip. He ran about, knocking over the tables of the money changers, spilling coins on the ground, yelling, possibly looking crazy (wow, do people love throwing this very serious word around). He drove them out. He also blocked entry into the temple so that disrespectful people did not use it as a shortcut to other parts of the temple and street.

      As he cleansed the Temple of greed and profit, Jesus quoted from Isaiah 56:7: “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers.” (Matthew 21:13, ESV)

      The disciples and others present were in awe of Jesus’ authority in God’s sacred place. His followers remembered a passage from Psalm 69:9: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” (John 2:17, ESV)

      The background story to this some scholars say, is that Jesus planned it all out. He did not just angrily respond as most emotional souls would. He had actually visited the day before, possibly disguised, and just sat there for a while watching, waiting, and contemplating until he returned the next day when He whipped His way through the nonsense, possibly provocking then a plan for His death.

      Yes, you pray for your enemies indeed, especially when you hear terrible things happen to them. But your heart cannot lie to the Father who knows your true heart and that you do not cry for evil. For if God did not hate false prophets (fake people), polyGods, etc., then things would be much worse for us.

      You must understand your enemy before you talk to them. Harm against our enemies is at our Father’s sole discretion, but understanding them is up to us. Quiet contemplation and preparation to strike is just another quality that our Father has blessed us with and that His own son practiced. It is reactive action that is evil as well as keeping a house of sin, physically or spiritually.

      May God bless friends and enemies alike. But may only the rightous advance into eternity.

      LMo.


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